Welcome to V. Lazaro Zamora's Blog

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Can't We All Just Get Along??

It's not just any dog and cat. A Siamese, known to have the worst tempers known in the cat world and a Chihuahua, known for their nervous breakdowns and annoying yaps. No, I didn't have them sewn together this way. No, they are not sedated. They genuinely love each other. They play all night long and sleep together during the day. Sometimes the cat gives out a hiss or the dog an aggressive bark. Sometimes the cat eats the dog's food and sometimes the dog eats the cat's food. But, these two get along really nicely for arch enemies. Now, how do we conquer darkness and hate? Using Love or bullets? Following the way of the gun or the way of the housepet? If they can do it, why can't we all?

Sunday, August 12, 2007

The happiest place on the late great planet Urth!

One day, after many great wars and our world has
been reborn from the ashes of nature's destructive
forces, a new civilization will come. They will find this planet was the home to an entire culture of cruel species that was bored beyond belief. However, they will come to understand that we knew how to party, because among the rubble and waste of our dead planet they will encounter a great temple where the people of this fallen world came to pray, give many alms and pay tribute to their omnipotent deity. Among those ruins they will discover a god mightier than any they have ever encountered. A god that, with the help of his big, orange dog and a lower god that took the form of a talking duck , used his powers to give the inhabitants of this wasted world the thing that they truly wanted. They did not seek enlightenment or a utopia. They wanted entertainment and that was the gift that this almighty and powerful rodent god gave to them. May the Mouse bless you and keep you safe.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Journey to the Temple of Hate

If there is a dark center of greed and American buffoonery South Coast Plaza, in what is repulsively referred to as the "OC", is it. It is the place where $800 shoes are found in the bargain bin at Jimmy Choos and guys who look like Moby eagerly serve flutes of champagne to those who have wrists precious enough to wear the latest Movado time piece. The hoi-polloi are not welcome and the common man must pay $9 for a cup of joe if his kid needs to take a piss and won't make it to the other end of the mall, where the gamestop and the body shop are located.
I don't normally advocate violence against the rich (OK, maybe sometimes I do but only as a sport) but here is a little thought I had and it only applies to guys who sport man bags, wear jeans with flip flops and desecrate Rock and Roll by wearing retro Jimmy Hendrix or AC/DC shirts (any awesome Rock band, really); I would advocate the following punishment for their heinous profanity of "The Rock" which I doth hold sacred: The pain begins when we drive a long bolt through both ankles. We then attach a cable to the bolt and hang them upside down to a thorny tree. We smear honey on their phony runway Mohawks so that fire ants can crawl into their eyes, then we cut them down a couple of days later and toss whats left of them into a big burlap sack with a rabid hyena and throw them both off a bridge and into a fast moving river. I know, I know, I'm way to lenient on these filthy buggers, but I have read some Gandhi so, fuck it.
O.k. One more thing. Who buys an $8000 purse? I'll tell ya who. 3 types of of dumb asses buy $8000 purses; 1. the filthy rich. I mean Paris Hilton rich. They don't know poverty or struggle, have never had a need or want or wild desire that they couldn't have fullfilled with a phone call. 2. The noveau riche. Not just any noveau rich, the ghetto ass noveau rich; Kimora Simmons types who make disgusting amounts of bank and can't seem to remember the rough times and think that the good times will always last (they sure do don't they Hammer?). 3. This last type is the worst of the lot; I mean the lowest of the low; they are the broke 9 to 5ers that have a mortgage, a car they can't afford and a credit card with an $8000 limit. Shouldn't I have pity on these dummys? Absolutely not! Know why? Because, unlike the other 2 groups these people think they are better than their own kind. They equate happiness with the consumption of hogwash, pure bullshit and simple minded frivolity. They believe that the shit they own will fullfill a desire in them to be noticed and this is worse then anything Kimora the pothead or Paris the jailbird do, because if it weren't for these class traitors, "The Fabulous Life of ..." and "Cops" would be shows about how corporate criminals get arrested, and poor, black people get to watch the policemen who terrorize them go to jail, instead of being the foolish golden carrots that they wave in front of the great, distracted, unwashed, masses, who buy into the idea that everything is just fine and all we have to do is , buy, buy, buy!

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