Welcome to V. Lazaro Zamora's Blog

Sunday, September 23, 2007

I Just Kicked Some Ass, Now I'm Going To Disneyland!

I spotted UFC fighting madman and freak of human nature, Chuck Lidell at Disney last Sunday. He had a huge mouse under his left (?) eye that was put there on Saturday night by
some dude named Keith Jardine, who supposedly shouldn't have beaten him, but did. "The Iceman", as he is called is now considering retirement at the age of 36. This guy looks like he could eat a barbed wire fence and crap out cuff links. He's real thin and gaunt looking, but you can see the sinews bursting out of his arms. It's kinda weird standing next to a human killing machine at the happiest place on earth. I didn't talk to him cuz, he's a really scary looking dude. The mohawk and the tats on his head made him hard to ignore, but when you see a guy that has clearly just been in a fist fight at Disney land, it's kinda hard to spend the rest of the day whistling zipadee doo da. It changed my mood entirely and I yelled at a bunch of 10 year old girls and their parents who were fucking around and bumped into me at the haunted mansion. I just wasn't in the mood to take any one's shit. Thankfully there weren't many tourists that day or i might have done something terrible. Thanks for ruining my fucking day, Chuck, you asshole.

Friday, September 21, 2007

More Proof of the Coming Apocalypse

So, those of you who haven't seen this bore fest can now run out and rent it. The first movie by Robert Rodriguez, Planet Terror is actually pretty good and holds true to the grindhouse school of film making; a bit cheesy but fast paced, compelling and fun to watch. Tarantino's Death Proof is really boring until about the last 20 minutes and quite frankly I don't recall ever watching a grindhouse film, in my youth (and I watched plenty, cuz my father was an alcoholic and not very aware of the parental rating system), where the character dialogue was as rich, dramatic and well thought out as in this film. Seriously, people in those films didn't discuss the nature of relationships and get philosophical. They called each other cunts and yelled, "Hey! Let's go get those guys" alot.
In other news:
How the fuck did this idiot get taken seriously? We have lost our fucking minds in this country! I understand that everyone has something to say. I'm proof of it. But, for christ's sake all this douche bag did was tape himself crying over Brittany Spears and now CNN is profiling him. If that's all it takes I should be making Brad Pitt $ and adopting kids with Angelina. I'm not jealous; I just don't get how someone without talent, without any special ability or even good looks can get famous these days. We are truly desperate for entertainment and attention in this country. Oh yeah, CNN can go fuck themselves! In fact all American media outlets in this country can eat shit! Our country is asleep at the wheel and all these assholes can do is put the Brittany guy and OJ on the front page. What a bunch of bullshit!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

She Had Better learn to Give Good Hed

I know So. Carolina is not known for churning out Einsteins, but for christ's sake! She's gotta be dumber than Brittany Spears. Speaking of which, I think it's great that shes trying to have K-fed whacked. The hillbillyness of it all is too much for me. I'm serious when I say what this country needs is another Sherman's March to Sea.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Everytime I Get Out, They Drag Me Back In.

I'm not going to get angry. I'm not going to get angry. Just let me say that the pathetic little fucks who did this to my window and stole my sirius satellite radio deserve to have their fucking fingers gnawed off by a wolverine. I hope their children are born without eyes and that their mother's diseased uterus's fall out so they can no longer contaminate this world with sick, weaklings who can't achieve anything through legitimate avenues and hard work. I hate your guts, you slimy, losers and I pray that one day people like you will be eradicated from the gene pool so that the rest of decent society can live peacefully and without burden having your shitty, miserable existence being felt. May god condemn you and the devil shove a hot poker up your ass for the rest of eternity, you low life, filthy, piece of shit!
AAhhhhhhh, i feel better now.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Even Turkeys Get a Break

I really thought Bush would be the first president to murder a turkey on Thanksgiving, but apparently he is not even that big of a jag off to kill our nation's official Thanksgiving turkey. I

am happy to report that despite what conspiracy buffs might report on the net, the Turkeys are safe and chillin at Disneyland. Now, it is possible that these are not the actual turkeys but i am not the one to investigate the claims that we are being fooled by our government into believing that the Thanksgiving turkey is actually pardoned every year. In any case, I am happy for the turkeys living in this corral. They appear content, well fed and ignored by most everyone who walks past them. Maybe we can put the people that Dick Cheney wants to shoot in the face in a corral here also. By the way, if you have been enjoying this blog for awhile now, you might want to consider a small donation. The paypal link at the bottom works really nice and god knows I don't want to have to go out and get a real job. This turkey don't get fed for free.

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