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Sunday, December 07, 2008

Ed Hardy ; The Tommy Hilfiger of Tomorrow

Over priced, LA douchey-boy (and girl) street gear has migrated from the boutique to a department store near you. Ed Hardy is worn by two types: people too chicken shit to get a real tattoo and people who are ashamed of the ink they actually have. If you get the douche chills whenever you see a rhinestone covered skull with sequins daggers through it, you have the king of douchery, Brett Michaels to thank. How do you take something as scary, counter-culture, and down right kick ass as a tat and turn it into something that bored housefraus pay top dollar for? You take a worn out purveyor of their teenage masturbatory daydreams and make a bunch of aged, trailer park, skanks chase him around the boob tube for a couple of seasons. The sad thing is that there is an Ed Hardy in Frisco who does some rad work. Sadly enough, those pathetic rags are a warning that getting noticed for being bad ass at what you do can be a two edged blade. Along with fame and glory comes the risk of having 40 year old jack-offs own and advertise your life's work which, if history is a good indicator, can only lead to to your downfall as an artist and being heckled in public. Maybe some mad genius out there wants to do the world a favor and devise a tattoo removal laser that will turn to ash the trucker caps, boots, jeans, hoodys, dildos, bongs and whatever other tzotchkes they slap those cliche'd "bad boy" designs on. Imagine a miniature death star, but instead of taking out whole planets, it zaps the universe clean of middle-aged, ass wipes.

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