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Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Man Overboard

So, I'm on the first vacation I've had in about 4 years and everything is going swell, when on the last night aboard my cruise some dickhead gets into an argument with his wife and swan dives off the balcony. It was the middle of the night and we were on the rim of a huge storm that was slapping us with 4 foot waves. A Disney cruise ship pulls up along side us, the Coast Guard was dispatched and there were an ass load of life jackets thrown into the water. The guy apparently swam around for about an hour and a half and was eventually rescued. The whole thing made the papers and the nightly news. Now, what kind of an idiot jumps off a ship because he got into an argument with his wife and why wasn't his first impulse to drop kick her ass off the fucking boat? Can you imagine being that PW'd that you throw yourself into shark infested waters (in the middle of their lunch time I might add )? What the guy should have done was hit the casino and blow whatever money they had left if he wanted to get back at her.
Oh and I reluctantly kissed a dolphin on vacation, too. They are majestic and wonderful creatures, but they got halitosis like a mo'fucka and don't have any lips. So unless you like eating cat food and making out with rubber tires, I don't recommend it. I did see an orthodox Jew get in line twice to do it; a sight you don't see every day, so I felt like I had to tell someone.

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