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Thursday, May 05, 2011

I duhman Pikchurs/ DENIED!


Osama bin dead for about three days now and without hesitation the conspiracy theories and rumors about how, if and when he "really" died, hit the web.  After the celebrating (see my second OBL post), the web was aflutter with wild speculation about how the mission had to be a lie; merely an attempt by the government to fool us all into believing that the world's most wanted terrorist had finally met his demise.  No one can explain why the government would go through the trouble of doing this, of course, just like they can't explain why there would be a second gunman on the grassy knoll or how the thousands of NASA workers involved in the moon landing could keep a secret for so long, but then conspiracy buffs don't need reason.  All that one needs to believe a conspiracy is a belief that a conspiracy exists; no evidence of Obama's birth place will ever satiate the desire of birthers, just as no pictures of Osama's corpse will ever convince these kooks that the boogeyman is now fish food.

A few months ago I posted a blog about the Wikileaks matter and I think I made a reasonable defense of Jullian Assange and why I thought what he and Bradley Manning did was good for Democracy.  What I got was an unexpected reaction by people who thought that Wikileaks was just another campaign by the government to dis-inform the American public.  I can't tell you how livid this made me!  The idea that a private citizen can freely go on a website and look at hundreds of thousands of previously undisclosed government documents is unprecedented in American history and still there were people out there that without reason, logic or study dismissed, in the blink of an eye, this treasure trove of insight into how the government works, as bunch of malarkey.  LIVID!

And now we have people dismissing the reported death of Bin Laden, because they can't see videos of the mission as it takes place, or pictures of the corpse or whatever it is that will personally appease their cynicism.  Now that the administration has decided not to show the pictures of the century, I suppose the conspiracy theorists will stop taking their meds and, just to see how far their babble will take them before they end up rocking in a puddle of their own piss, inside a padded cell, take to conjuring up stories of imaginary "photoshoped" pictures and evil cabals within the NSA that trace their origins back to Skull and Bones.  Take note, those of you who want to propagate incendiary lies based on conjecture and a lack of information, as of recently, all that conspiracy BS hasn't gone very well for certain people.  Not to cast stones, but it's a bad time to have a name that rhymes with chump.

To those kooks, I say: don't bemoan the lack of closure you feel; the rest of us are satisfied.  Don't complain that you don't have enough evidence to satisfy your curiosity; the fucker is dead, that's good enough for everyone else.  Don't try to lend your crazy theories any credibility by arguing that your sources are solid, fascinating and well documented on the internet; so is German schizer porn.  Don't try to convince us that all you need is a video of the assault team in action; an MP3 of OBL's death rattle, a picture of the SEAL team standing naked over the corpse with a half dozen dwarfs in Elmo suits on unicycles, playing banjos as the Blue Angels do a fly-by; we all know there isn't a damn shred of evidence that will make you drop your agenda.

To our government apparatchiks I say, simply, Julian Assange, True Majority, Amnesty International et. al. will not rest until the shit, that has hit the fan, has been swept off the parade ground.

As for me, I have only have 3 reasonable questions:
1:  How is that OBL hung out, eating hummus, listening to Bob Seger albums for 30 minutes as a firefight raged in his living room; then the minute a half dozen heavily armed, bad-asses stormed into his bedroom, that was the moment he decided to reach for a piece?
2.  Dude, had a million dollar compound and he didn't have a "safe" room "where the magic happens"?  Even those fools on Cribs got that shit.  Even Saddam had a spider hole.  Jesus, he's an infamous terrorist, that evaded the 10th Mountain Division in Tora Bora for over a year and he didn't have enough sense to build an escape tunnel?  What?  They don't have Hogan's Heroes or Jodi Foster films in Pakistan?
3.  If the president and his cabinet et. al. had access to a direct video feed of the operation, including second by second accounts into every turn of action (I can only imagine that what they were seeing looked like an Xbox game), how is it that the first accounts of what happened to OBL were completely dismissed the very next day as incorrect?  He initially was reported to have gone down in a blaze of glory like he was a villain in a Chuck Norris flick; complete with a mansion full of bodyguards, a female human shield, firing off rounds until the bitter end.  The very next day, we were informed that, that was all bullshit and dude was unarmed when he got capped and the woman with him was actually trying to protect him and got shot in the leg for her troubles.

In any case, I'm willing to forget these silly questions, now that we finally have a president that keeps his campaign promises concerning the war on terror (or any campaign promises for that matter) .  If only we can get him to keep his promise to make our government more transparent, maybe bin laden conspiracy theorists will be relegated to that place where Larouchies, birthers and people who believe the moon is made of cheese end up; irrelevant and denied anything but a footnote in history.

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